Messenger - Vol. 4, No. 2, Page 2 1995 Fun and games with baby One day when Lois Levy Nachamie, Delaware '69, was sitting with her daughter Annie's play group of six other mothers and assorted offspring, someone asked the inevitable, "What did you do before you became a mommy?" The answers were astounding. Among the seven were two fiction writers, an editor, a book agent, a parenting writer and a psychologist. It was the agent who asked the question, "Why don't we write a book?" Two years later, Entertain Me! Creative Ideas for Fun and Games With Your Baby in The First Year hit the bookstores. Recently, the popular book won the coveted Parents' Choice Award, issued annually by the Parents' Choice Foundation in Newton, Mass. The annual award identifies choice materials for children in the fields of literature, illustration, films, television, radio, magazines, computer software, recordings, videos, toys and rock 'n' roll. Winners of the awards are listed in an annual awards issue of Parents Choice magazine. The seven authors, all members of the Riverside Mothers Group, divided up publicity commitments, and Nachamie found herself plugging the book on NBC's Today show. "I was just lucky to get that one," she says. Entertain Me! is a compendium of practical advice from these women who found themselves nurturing each other as well as their babies at their once-a-week get-togethers. "Like lots of women in New York City, we are all mothers of advanced maternal age," Nachamie says. "Motherhood was an enormous change. We literally held each other's hands all through the early years of our children's lives. "When you're going hard at your career and suddenly find yourself thrust into this v-e-r-y s-l-o-w baby time, with no real beginning, no middle and no end, it can be overwhelming. You don't get up and go to work with everyone else. If you're up all night with the baby, you don't sleep with everyone else. Maybe you nap when the baby naps. Who knows how the day will go? "That first year, there can be days when you're just incapable of managing to get a shower. We knew someone in the mothers' group would understand if we called and said, 'Please, can you just come over and sit with the baby for 15 minutes while I wash my hair?'" The group was formed rather informally. The members, who happened to live near each other, met on a bus while toting infants or in the grocery store while carrying babies or they were friends from college. Suggestions on how to form a similar play group are included in the book. The benefits of such a group, according to the book, include being with other parents who are making similar decisions, who never tire of your obsessive talk about your baby and who "will usually be happy to hold the baby for a minute while you go to the bathroom by yourself." Originally, the seven thought they would each write one of the chapters in the book. But, as the project evolved, they worked in teams of two, and the resulting book has nine chapters. "When we started," Nachamie says, "we each picked our first and second choice of topics and put them in a hat. Amazingly, there were no conflicts. When we finished writing, everyone got a copy of everyone else's work and we all took a different color of ink and critiqued the chapters. Eventually, one person took it all and smoothed it out." Many will find the personal anecdotes scattered throughout the book the best reading. Who, for instance, wouldn't be captivated by Anna's dad, who in the chapter dealing with loud noises, "does a special blender dance... so Anna pays attention to him and looks forward to the noise..."? In one of her personal stories, Nachamie writes, "As I dressed Annie, even when she was an infant, I'd say, 'Push your arm in.' It was one of our first, albeit rudimentary, games. When she was less than 8 weeks old, I was shocked to discover her little arms pushing at my command. But then, 'puuuush' was the first word she'd ever heard." The book also is full of useful tips such as looking for paved pathways when planning outings (ever try to push a stroller on gravel?) or reading in your best "high-school-science-teacher monotone" before naps or at bedtime. ("Save the enthusiasm for other times of the day," the book recommends.) While Nachamie began to pursue her own writing career again (she has published two romance novels, and a new book is scheduled to be published this year), the other six women in the group went on to write another book. Some have since moved away, so the play group no longer meets, but Nachamie's daughter is now in kindergarten with two of the children from the original group. Nachamie also freelances articles on parenting issues and writes for The Big Apple Parents' Paper. Additionally, she teaches parenting classes at the 92nd Street Y Parenting Center-nationally famous for its programs for babies and their moms. (Portions of her class were recently filmed for a television special that ABC Emmy Award-winning reporter John Stossel, longtime 20/20 correspondent, will air in the spring on gender differences.) She also is the fundraising chairperson for a support group for a gifted and talented program, in which her daughter is enrolled. "I came to parenting so late, I never, ever thought it would be a field of interest for me," she says. "I know that by having Annie later in life I am more patient, but my knees creak when I get up and down!" -Beth Thomas