Messenger - Vol. 3, No. 3, Page 19 Spring 1994 Alumni Profile When you fall out love with food M Ireland, Delaware '88M, established a new career for herself while traveling the road to recovery from the eating disorder- bulimia. Ireland's personal experiences inspired her to become a professional counselor, and, in 1989, she founded a counseling center in Wilmington, Del., where women, and later men as well, could meet to address eating disorders, stress management and related issues. "I'd always had issues with my body and my image," Ireland says. "The real problem started in high school. I thought if the numbers on the scale were OK, then that meant that I was OK. If I could manipulate my body to look 'right,' I thought I would feel better about myself." At 5'1" and 115 pounds, Ireland felt overweight. She first began purging as a means to lose weight when she learned that her boyfriend, a high school wrestler, would throw up before meets to satisfy weight- class regulations. He made it seem like a safe thing to do, she says, and she began a roller-coaster ride of eating binges and purging sessions. In college, Ireland turned to laxatives and diet pills to lose the extra pounds. Sometimes, her daily intake of food consisted only of an apple and some salad. More often, it included huge quantities of sugary snacks. It was not uncommon for her daily menu to include a dozen doughnuts or a half gallon of ice cream. Yet, Ireland successfully managed to hide her secret from friends, family and, later, her husband. With a degree in nursing from the University of Vermont, Ireland enjoyed helping others, often forgetting to take care of herself. Outwardly, Ireland seemed normal and happy, but, inside, a different person existed. "I knew something was wrong, but I couldn't understand what it was. I felt alone, ashamed, isolated and full of pain," she says. She began drinking for solace. Ultimately, Ireland found herself in the hospital, weak from malnutrition and weighing 100 pounds. But, she says, her illness made her think she was still too fat. Recognizing the contradiction, Ireland decided she couldn't solve her problem alone and she sought professional help. "I was forced to look at the dysfunction in my family and the fact that my needs were not being met. I couldn't share my emotions. The only way I could express my emotions was by purging them," she says. Ireland decided she wanted to help other people who are suffering from bulimia and anorexia. "I knew I had to listen to my inner voice," she says. "I learned that I could break the secrecy and silence. I wanted to let others know they are not alone, because I could remember how painful and isolating it was for me." After earning a master's degree in counseling at the University, she was licensed by the state of Delaware as a psychiatric clinical specialist and certified as a chemical dependency nurse. Five years ago, she opened A Woman's Place, a center where women could meet to address eating disorders, stress management and related issues. Because the disease does not discriminate, male patients began to come through the doors, and she expanded her services, renaming her center Altering Disordered Eating. "The majority of our clients are women," she says, "but that doesn't mean that men don't have a problem with food. About 10 to 15 percent of our clientele are men." Today, Altering Disordered Eating offers various programs based on a holistic approach that seeks a client's spiritual, mental, emotional and physical well-being. In addition to Ireland, the center staff includes a dietitian, a licensed social worker, an exercise specialist and art and dance therapists. Ireland, who last year received a Presidential Citation Award for Outstanding Achievement from the University, travels around the region speaking about her personal experience with an eating disorder and holding training seminars for professionals. Soon, she expects to publish a book titled, How To Fall Out of Love With Food. "Many people substitute food for love," she says. "They'll gorge on chocolate and cake when what they really want is someone to love them as they are. We try to provide that love and teach our clients other places where they can find it on the outside, in affirmative, self-supporting ways." -Gayle McCarthy, Delaware '92