Nancy Proud Freebery's book, Blossom! It's Not What Life Throws at You...It's How You Catch It, chronicles her struggles to understand her son, Ricky, who has special needs, and their mutual growth.

During his early childhood, Ricky was frequently sick and his temperament was extremely difficult, Freebery, AS '80, says.

Although he always had advanced verbal skills and looked like a "normal" healthy child, she and her husband, Rick, couldn't help but question why his behavior was so different from that of other children.

As the years went by, Ricky's differences became more pronounced. Freebery says it was heartbreaking when other people started noticing something was wrong and asking, "What's with Ricky?"

The reason behind his temperamental behavior, she learned, is that Ricky has serious neurological problems that affect his sensory integration system, motor skills, attention span and his learning.

Freebery says it is as if Ricky has a traffic jam in his brain.

"He is an incredibly bright and kind child, but he was always frustrated," she explains.

By the time Ricky was 5, he was attending The Pilot School in Wilmington for children with learning disabilities and getting help from an occupational therapist, a music therapist, a psychologist and a neurologist. Although he was making progress, all of the help was just too much for him.

Freebery says she was forced to re-evaluate Ricky's situation and put everything into perspective to find out what was really important in all of their lives.

"I learned a lot and, when I looked back, there was a process we went through," she says, "from the struggle to the blossoming."

"It became quite clear to me that the majority of Ricky's behavioral troubles stemmed from his frustration with being so smart and knowing what he wanted to do and how he wanted to behave, and his inability to do it."

Freebery says it was then that she understood that even though she had no control over Ricky's neurological problems, she could do things to help with his behavior.

By developing a very structured routine for Ricky and not over-stimulating him, she says, she started to find a balance in their lives.

Ricky continued to attend The Pilot School and started receiving occupational therapy there, but all the other overwhelming distractions were eliminated from their lives.

Once she started taking action to give balance to Ricky's life, Freebery says she had to slow down and put her own life into perspective.

She says all of the years of trying to juggle it all made her feel like there had to be more to life. So, she began doing things that made her happy and healthy--physically, mentally and spiritually.

Now she says, "I am blessed to be able to keep it all together--helping Ricky progress, running a business, being a wife, keeping my family together and giving back to the community.

"I felt like I should share [these experiences] to help other people grow from their struggles. I wanted to give others a message of hope and inspiration," she says.

At the University of Delaware, Freebery studied communication, and she says she is grateful for acquiring the professional skills that allowed her to start her own marketing communications business--especially since it gives her the flexibility she needs to take care of Ricky.

These same skills also gave her the ability to publish her own book. Freebery says she hopes the book will be helpful to students who are planning to work with children and also will inspire students studying communication.

In July, Ricky turned 13 and, although he still struggles academically, he continues to make great progress, his mother says. He was released from occupational therapy last spring and hopes are he will be mainstreamed into a regular high school in two years.

At school, he plays lacrosse and as a member of the Run Club, he ran 115 miles this year alone. He also received a citizenship award.

In addition to the physical progress he has made, Ricky's verbal skills continue to excel as well. He is a reader at church and has been a guest co-host on a radio show.

Freebery continues working at her marketing communications business and also hosts workshops for parents of children with special needs and others in need of motivation and inspiration.

Her book is available at local bookstores, the A.I. duPont Hospital for Children and on the web at [www.npfcommunications.com]. A portion of the proceeds from her book will benefit The Pilot School Scholarship Fund.

--Tracy Ortiz, AS 2003